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For a nation whose diet appears to consist entirely of meat, dumplings, pilsner and Ass to fuck in ostrava, the sheer number of statuesque, glossy-haired, high-cheekboned punters frankly defies all reason. Anyway, to the music. Ass to fuck in ostrava charmed all and sundry with a light-touch, cover-leaning set. Ferocious Dog unleashed an explosive fusillade of Celtic folk-punk which sat just right with my bellyful of Radegast beer, post-sunset, day one. But why put them on after alt-J? They came across lightweight and juvenile by comparison.

You can camp, but honestly — speaking as a sturdy veteran of countless nights under canvas — both sites are a bit of a trek across town. Sure, you can hop on a regular, reliable, cheap tram, but we opted to crash at Harmony Hotel, just 25 minutes stroll from the main gates. Ostrava is well worth spending time in before things really start popping off onsite. Canoeing on the Ostravice river is diverting, you can explore a real-life mine at Landek Park or — when you really need to clear your head — a romantic chairlift can whisk you up Pustevny mountain resort, about an hour out of town. Bolt Tower — named for sprinter Usain, who adores Ostrava, apparently — is a postmodern glass marvel perched atop an old blast furnace, perfect for grabbing a hard-hat selfie with a glass of red, some 78m above the hurly-burly of the festival.

Czech crowds, if you can believe it, have even shittier rhythm than British crowds, which is hilarious when a tune they like comes on. It rained once, for about an hour, on Saturday night sucks to be you, Laura Mvula.

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